words to live by

Can I start this post by saying....OMG I haven't blogged in almost a month! Bad blogger! I would say I have a good reason for this but I don't. I can't even make up a good one.

Lately I have spent an inordinate amount of time in the deep South. Last weekend I spent a great weekend with a bunch of great ladies at our favorite horse ranch in Georgia. And, the weekend before I spent in South Carolina at the NASCAR race in Darlington.

Along the way I saw a billboard after my own heart. This road sign simply stated: "Country Cookin' Makes You Good Lookin'" Amen sister, amen! I have no idea what was being advertised but this slogan shall stay with me forever. It will now be my sole excuse for eating all the Southern food I would like.

That brought up all the other Southern words to live by. For example, "Bless your heart." To the          un-expecting Yankee this seems like a lovely sympathetic term. In reality it is never a good thing. For those not familiar, "Bless your heart" is something you don't want to hear said about you. This phrase is what we polite southern belles say when we really want to say something very un-lady like. A soccer mom steals your parking spot at the mall? You reply, "Bless her heart." Your boyfriend thinks that a vacuum cleaner is a great birthday gift? Your friends respond, "Bless his heart." You see, we actually mean the complete opposite.

And now, courtesy of eHow.com, a tutorial on how to use Southern phrases.

Instructions

Things You'll Need:

• Extra Time

1. 
   
   
   Step1
   SURPRISING CONVERSATIONS...
   
   "Butter my butt, and call me a biscuit!" It's a clear way to say you are knocked out of your britches with a new tidbit of knowledge.
   
   "It made me as ill as a hornet." You were so mad, you just didn't know what to do.
   
   "If that don't put pepper in the gumbo."
   
   "Well, slap my head and call me silly."
   
   "Tie me to an anthill and fill my ears with jam."
2. 
   
   
   Step2
   WHEN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY AND CAN'T SAY ANYTHING NICE
   
   "Bless her/his heart."
   
   "Do tell."
   
   "My cow died last night, so I don't need your bull."
   
   "I do declare."
   
   "Well, shut my mouth."
3. 
   
   
   Step3
   IN DEATH
   
   "She's resting in peace in the marble orchard." (You can add "Bless her heart.")
   
   "He's fixin' to meet his Maker."
4. 
   
   
   Step4
   STUPID, UGLY AND CLUMSY PEOPLE (there must be a lot around here because there are many ways to imply such things) Since we don't usually call people stupid, ugly and clumsy - follow each of these phrases with, "Bless his/her heart"
   
   "He looks like something the dog's been keeping under the porch."
   
   "She's so ugly, she could haunt a house."
   
   "He's acting crazier than a sprayed roach."
   
   "She's two sandwiches shy of a good picnic."
   
   "If brains were dynamite, he couldn't blow his nose."
   
   "He's as useful as a pogo stick in quicksand."
   
   "She needs some fries to go with that shake."
   
   "Like a bump on the log."
   
   "She's so clumsy, she could trip on a cordless phone."
   
   
   Do you have a favorite phrase/saying/slang?

a slice of old Florida

I have always been intrigued by old Florida. I'm a Floridian (born and raised) and I love the magic that Florida holds for non-Floridians. The promise of endless sunshine, gorgeous beaches, the happiest place on Earth (Disney World, of course!).

But, there is a forgotten piece of old Florida that out ranks all of this for me.  Just north of Tampa on US 19 sits a relic of Florida that is still standing tall. Weeki Wachee Springs is slice of nostalgia that has been preserved for future generations. Hailed as the world's only city of live mermaids, it beckons tourists away from the all mighty mouse. It promises them a wonderful, if not gimmicky, show full of magic and sights beyond belief. Since 1946 tourists have been coming to Weeki Wachee to marvel at the beautiful mermaids that seem to effortlessly dance without the need for air in the crystal clear spring. A spectacle and a must see for sure!

The draw of old Florida and the magic of such a place is what drew me into my current read, Swim to Me. The book tells the story of a 16-year-old girl who leaves her home in the Bronx for the sunny promise of Florida. After her father walks out on her family, she feels as though she must get out and make a better life for herself. Weeki Wachee seems like the perfect place to do just that after visiting the park on a family vacation the year before. She auditions at Weeki Wachee and gets the job. Now, how will she deal with her new found stardom and what will happen when her family suddenly reunites in a most feared twist of fate? This book is not the most substantial book but it is a good read none the less. I would recommend this for a long drive or a day at the beach. It left me with dreams of old Florida and I am now planning a trip to Weeki Wachee as soon as possible!

the south: can't live with it, can't live without it

As much as I loathe the South I also love the South. I've lived in the South my entire life and there are some days when I can't wait to GET OUT!!! Especially, when I'm surrounded by Sarah Palin bumper stickers and gun racks.  But some days, I absolutely love living in the South. I love sunny days, going to eat at the local seafood place down by the river, the fact that we can find any excuse to have a party, and of course, the food (fried pickles are my weakness)!!

This thought process was brought on by the quintessential movie of the South, Steel Magnolias. Could you get any more southern when you have a red velvet groom's cake shaped like an armadillo? I don't think it's possible.

The South has always been my home and I suppose it always will be. But, I do wish that some days it was a little bit more sophisticated. I wish that we weren't a little bit of a laughing stock. Some of the news stories that I see about the South when I'm traveling are just plain embarrassing. No, not all of us drive pick-up trucks, go hunting 24/7, and we don't all know how to line dance.

I do love the laid back way of life we have perfected down here south of the Mason-Dixon Line. Why do what needs to be done now if it can wait until tomorrow is our motto. Wasting time is one of our favorite past times. Heck, it's actually a full fledged sport!. An afternoon with a sweet tea and a front porch swing is all we need.

But, if we believe in something we sure aren't afraid to tell you. (Hence all the bumper stickers previously mentioned.) We did seceded from the Union after all. We stick up for ourselves and are some of the proudest people there are. But, sometimes we're a little too proud and can be a little loud. But, just bare with us and hear us out. Once, our point is out there we'll quiet down.

So, next time you happen to be in our neck of the woods take advantage! Find a front porch, pour yourself some sweet tea and waste away the day. Talk loudly and speak your mind. Remember, your among friends.